The Ladder to Heaven

One day, a man died. So, he starts climbing the ladder to heaven. He looks up and finds that there are 4 segments, each a different colour. He was informed by a sign that once he climbed a segment, he could not come back down.

He had just finished climbing the first segment when this really hot girl appeared, and she said, "You can either screw me, or climb your way to success." He thought about it for a moment, then the girl told him that there would be a hotter girl on every segment. Then the man apologised and went on.

After the second segment, this hotter girl, hotter than Miss America, appeared and said the same thing, "You can either screw me, or climb your way to success." The man apologised and went up some more.

After the third segment, this really, really, really hot girl, hotter than Miss Universe, appeared and said the same thing yet again. "You can either screw me, or climb your way to success." For a moment, the man was really tempted to just screw her right there and then. But then he thought, "Hey, if I climb this last section, I'll be making love with the hottest girl ever." So he apologised and continued.

After the fourth segment, however, instead of meeting a super-hot babe, there was this fugly old man.

He said" Hi, my name is Cess."

Suck-Cess geddit?

God gives out Wings

An American, an Asian and an Indian all die mysteriously. They ascend to Heaven where God speaks to them.

God examines the American and says, "Wow... Blond hair, blue eyes and white skin... So sexy! I shall give you a pair of wings." So the American puts on the wings and becomes an angel.

God examines the Asian next and says, "Hmm... Black hair, brown eyes and yellow skin... Not so sexy. But I shall give a pair of wings anyhow." So the Asian puts on the wings and becomes an angel.

God lastly examines the Indian and says, "Walao eh... Black hair, black eyes and black skin... So ugly! But I shall give you a pair of wings to be fair."

The Indian puts on the wings and becomes a bat!